Instagram Live with Juanina Kocher: What’s Fair Game When You Talk Fair Play on Social Media

Are you familiar with the NY Times Bestselling Fair Play book by Eve Rodsky and the Fair Play Documentary by Reese Witherspoon’s Hello Sunshine?

Fellow moms, Emily A. Hay of Hay There Social Media and Juanina Kocher of Flex and Flow Wellness, are both advocates for a fair division of labor in the home. They incorporate it into their daily lives through their partnering and their parenting.

But when each of them posted something on social media about the fair division of labor in their homes (Juanina on Insta; Emily on TikTok), they SURE got a response outside of their own 4 walls! 🤯

Nearing almost 6M views, over 710K likes, over 6,500 comments between the 2 posts, they learned A LOT about people’s perspective on the mental load, who’s “job” it is today and who should be responsible for it in the next generation. 👀 👦👧

Want to know what they found out?

Check out this Instagram Live they did where they dished on what people had to say about THEIR lives as they productively unpacked the Fair Play principles and systems that can positively impact MILLIONS of lives.🙌

Some of the elements they discussed include:

  • Fundamental messages / setting the stage
    • Making sure people know Fair Play is based on all time being equal
    • The dominant family configuration in the U.S. today is coupled with children both working outside the home (trust us — we know all moms work; this conversation is simply framed by the dominant family configuration in the U.S. for clarity)
  • Points brought up frequently in the comments on Emily’s post
    • What’s the big deal with asking for help?  (We talked about how it shouldn’t be considered “helping”)
    • The definition of “weaponized incompetence” – this was mentioned thousands of times
    • Fair Play is called “Fair” not “Equal”.  What’s fair in your home might look different than in my home.
  • Points brought up frequently in the comments on Juanina’s post
    • Making sure girls also know how to mow the lawn, fix cars, etc because domestic labor isn’t gendered.  We discussed how these tasks are less frequent and can be done at one’s convenience, not repetitively (daily grinds).  Daily grinds = caregiving work (per Fair Play).
    • “Breadwinner”comments – contributions should be equally valued between partners.
      • Caregiving work is work.  Caregiving work is not seen, it’s not valued, its not paid.  Vicious cycle that puts this on women generation after generation.

Let us know your thoughts on the topic after you watch the playback!

Thanks for checking this out.


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